I am only me…

I am only me…

God made me who I am and I don’t doubt Him at all.  I have made my mistakes and I am not perfect.  Sometimes I say things that are mean or cruel, but I always say I am sorry when I am in the wrong.  There have been times when I have done things I am not proud of, even though I wish I could take them back.  I try not to judge others, although I am guilty of doing such at times.  I try to give my all to those I care about even if I don’t get it in return. 

I am only me…

I know I cannot change that which is out of my control, however I have tried and tried and only to fail again and again.  I realize people judge me based on my past, but I am not that person anymore.  Yes there have been times I have hurt those I love, although not intentionally, I regret my mistakes every single day. 

I am only me…

I would give someone the shirt off my back, the food off my table, and the shoes off my feet and go without because that is just who I am.  I cry, get mad, yell sometimes, and laugh till it hurts. I can run with the best and have learned to stay away from the worst.  Life has taught me many, many lessons some of which have made me stronger, others which have made me weaker. 

I am only me…

God made me who I am, he knows my heart even if others don’t, he forgives me when I make mistakes, and he loves me unconditionally.  I thank Him every day for understanding that I am only human and for forgiving me even when I feel like I don’t deserve it.

I am only me…

Advertisements

I thought I would miss you…

I thought i would miss you more
But turns out I don’t
You did me so damn dirty
But I am so happy you are gone!

You call me sometimes and act like you care
It does you no good in my eyes
Cause you made the choice to be with her there.

Although I have yet to understand why
You felt the need to run and hide
The path you chose makes you a coward in my eyes.

No longer do I cry and mourn the loss
You are getting what you deserve
And this time its not my fault.

Christina Nichole Burrell
5/3/2013

Sorry it’s been so long….

To all my fellow bloggers and followers…I apologize that it has been so long since I have posted anything to this blog.  I am trying to maintain two separate blogs and sometimes that can be a little overwhelming.  I hope to integrate them both in the next couple of months.  You can always check out my other one at: http://www.poeticrevolution.wordpress.com

Thanks for understanding!

30 Poems, 30 Days: NaPoWriMo Has Begun

I thought my fellow writers would find this interesting!

The WordPress.com Blog

Calling all poets! April is National Poetry Writing Month — NaPoWriMo for short. Modeled after National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), NaPoWriMo is an annual project encouraging poets to write one poem each day in April.

NaPoWriMo

We love discovering poetry in the Reader and are proud of the poets who call WordPress.com their online home, like Pushcart-nominated poet Kellie Elmore. If you’re an established or aspiring poet, or want to dabble in free verse, lyric essays, and more experimental prose, we encourage you to participate this month.

A poem a day

First time participating in a post-a-day project like this? We asked poet and publisher Maureen Thorson, the founder of this project, for advice:

Be open to the possibilities. The point isn’t to turn out a fully formed sonnet each day — although if anyone wants to try, I’m not going to discourage them! The point is to just…

View original post 197 more words

Just a thought…

I have been thinking a lot these past couple of weeks about where my life is headed and where I have been. In my contemplating I realized, despite the heartache and pain, all things must come to an end sometimes, especially when they are not good for you as a person. We come across people who do nothing but bring us down and regardless of our love for them they are set on their own toxix path of destruction with no regard for others. Which in turn is unhealthy for us to say the least.

All heartache heals over time, some take longer than others, but losing someone you love can be just what is needed to get our lives back on trak heading in the right direction. It’s hard, that I won’t deny, yet there are gratifying moments as well. At least we do not have to stand by and let them destroy our lives as they are doing their own.

God has a plan for us all, not to say we will always understand or agree, but there is a plan nonetheless. We just have to keep believing and trusting in Him and realize we do not have control of everything! We do have control on how we handle situations in our lives, just not how people treat us.

God bless…

Left behind…

Left Behind
I saw everything in you
My life to change forever
Yet I did not know what the future
Would bring
Or I would have stopped myself long before
I fell so deep in your arms that falsely provided
Comfort and understanding.

Nothing now but true heartache and pain
While you go on with nothing to gain
From a life you have chosen to pursue your selfish ways.

I hope this cruel and selfish world gives you all the happiness
You could ever find
Even though you left me far behind.

Christina Nichole Burrell
April 8, 2013

Is it better to know the truth?

Is it better to know the truth?

We have all asked ourselves at some point in time whether or not it was better to know the truth than to be left in the dark. Our natural instinct is to want to always be told the truth no matter what the cost, no matter how much our hearts may break, no matter how crushed our spirits will be from knowing. We continue to tell this to ourselves until we are faced with truths that stop us dead in our tracks crippling us and weakening us to our cores. Truths that make us question ourselves, makes us question other things in our lives, and make us question humanity in general. And do we ever stop questioning? Is there ever an end to the madness that ensues?

I have asked myself these same questions a thousand times and the only answer that ever comes is this: God has a plan for us all and there is a reason for everything that happens in our lives. We are not meant to understand nor question, only to trust in Him that in the end things will be as He designed them to be. Although its hard sometimes we are meant to give in to our own understanding but to trust in God and to lean on Him during both the good and bad times in our lives.

As for me…I would rather know the truth than be left in the dark. In the end, the truth shall truly set you free!

Christina Nichole Burrell
2/4/2012

Darkness of Solitude

Darkness of Solitude

The dark place of solitude seems to find me everyday
No matter how bad or good the events of my waking hours
That lonely hell seems to always find me
Like the roots of a weeping willow always seek out water.

I try so hard to fight it, to not give in
Yet the overwhelming sadness grips and holds on to the bitter end.

I put on a smile to hide the pain
Yet it doesn’t always work out as my mind has played
I am not one to show my fears
As it is a sign of weakness-or so I hear.

At time I ponder how I am to handle
This life so full of heartache and troubles
My life now gone-not by choice
But ripped away leaving me no voice.

Try as I might I can never get ahead
Only three or more steps further behind.

Every time I look over my shoulder
I see the knife stabbing me so deep
Making every attempt to try and kill me.

How much more I can take I could not tell…
My heart and soul so deeply damaged
Seeming to be beyond repairs that can be fathomed.

Christina Nichole Burrell
January 12, 2013

Something so true…

There are times in our lives when we run across someone
Who makes our broken hearts melt
And our pain seem like a distant memory.

They look in our eyes and all you can see is the love and passion
Which is something never seen.
Our hearts begin to repair the brokeness
Felt for the longest time.

The very touch on our skin
Makin’ us crumble deep within
A touch so subtle never known
Yet we accept it with open arms and minds.

Never again will we know a love so deep and true
A feeling that will carry us through
The good and bad life sometimes brings.

A love so true we have never seen
Refusing to let it go or pass us by
Forever will we hold on
Never will we say goodbye.

The Divide

The Divide
I missed him, even when we sat side by side
Not once did he notice nor care about the divide
That seemed to be getting stronger as time swiftly went by.
The love we shared now dwindling down
To what has now become us, neither knowing if lost or found.
At a crossroads we stand not sure which way to go
Either together or apart, uncertain which is the better road.
The difficulty of our circumstance is something we can no longer hide
Both of us questioning if its any longer worth the ride.

Christina Nichole Burrell
Started 12/23/2012
Ended 1/5/2013