At this point in my life

I grew up with so many dreams and hopes as a small child.  Always praying my situations would change, that I would be loved like I wanted to be loved, and accepted for who I was and where I came from.  As I got older and life got harder those hopes and dreams slowly dwindled and new ones came into light.   Although some came to pass successfully there were still those that never became anything.  I tried for years to understand why I couldn’t make sense of the ones that didn’t and it wasn’t until I lost everything I had that I figured out why.  Sometimes no matter how good of a person we are the mistakes we make affect us more than just temporarily and are sometimes more than just short lived.  They have lasting effects on us and those around us which try as we might cannot escape.  I have done my best to try to correct my mistakes and let go of those in my life that do nothing but bring me down and cause me heartache and hardships, sometimes with success and well sometimes not.  But that’s how it goes in life.

At this point in my life I have really began to understand that a change in my attitude and my surroundings has helped me get to where I am today.  I got rid of the people who were no good for me and separated myself from those who always focus on the negatives in life instead of realizing that we all go through shit, some more than others, but at least we can say that we wake up every morning breathing and have things that others go without.  Each new day brings new opportunities for me to better myself, not just for me, but more importantly for the people that I love and care about and could not see myself making it through all this life has to throw at me without them.  What some people have yet to understand is that no matter what my mistakes, no matter where I have been or where I am going, the loves of my life I would die for at any given moment.  I know that GOD is guiding me now, more so than ever before, and no matter how many times I stray off that path HE always brings me right back to it.  For without HIM I could never walk on both feet, stand tall, and fight the tears that tend to fall without warning.  I am not weak, I am strong….I am not feeble, I am able….and I know that where there is my footprints they are not alone for HE walks beside me every day.

Well, I guess that is all for now.  I know this post may have had many directions but I hope you all get the jist when you read it.  Sometimes my scattered brain just spits it out as it comes….oh well!

I hope you all have a blessed rest of the week!

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