I Try Not to Think…

I try so hard not to think about the memories this house brings to mind
Because after seven years I am having to say goodbye.

Thinking about the good times starts to hurt more than I can bear
There is really no one who truly understands with whom feelings I can share.

As I sit on the porch and think back to the day
The boxes were unpacked so a home for our children we could try to make.

Thinking we could let go of our troubled past
Was something we thought possible but just didn’t last.

Try as I may I still cannot find
A good reason that you left us so far behind.

Over you I am although it does not change
What this home meant to us all, what for our small family we tried to make.

Out in the world so helpless I feel
My mind twisting an turning on an endless wheel.

No longer is there a place that I can call home
Stuck in a cruel and heartless world feeling so alone.

My children gone for an unknown period of time
Not knowing when they will return and feeling as though no longer they are mine.

I try to be strong thinking I can hold on
But as each day passes I begin to feel like I am stuck in an ole country song.

Heartache and pain I know more about
Than the love of a man I had always dreamed about.

So now I face an empty world not knowing what before me lies
All the time telling myself one step and one day at a time.

Christina Nichole Burrell
8-29-2012

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