Communication with ex-spouses, ex-boyfriends, or ex-lovers….

You have been together for months, a few years, or 17 years (like me) and communication has gone slowly but surely gone downhill.  At the beginning of the relationship there wasn’t anything that you couldn’t talk about with each other.  In fact you could stay on the phone with each other for hours or sit on the couch and have endless conversations about everything from the weather outside to why someone you know wore a brown sweater with pink pants.  But the longer you were together you seemed to run out of things to talk about as if you both got it all out at the beginning.  For some, kids came along and that seemed to spark some communication but on the other hand it created other breakdowns which turned a lack of talking to arguing.  Then you both find yourself at a crossroad where a decision must be made about the relationship: fish or cut bait.  For those of you who decided to “cut bait” you will understand when I say that the communication did not get any better, as a matter of fact it turned into hitting your head against brick walls until it bleeds (especially if you have kids).  For those who don’t, consider yourself lucky because you don’t have to deal with each other on a daily basis like those of us who have children.

In a typical week I speak to my ex-husband every day through text messaging because we usually cannot talk on the phone without having heated discussions or arguments.  Needless to say it is not always about the kids, it is usually about the baggage from our 17 year relationship (we started dating when I was 16 years old, I am currently 33 years old and were married for 8 years).  From the broken marriage vows to lies and many other things, conversations get heated within the first five minutes and the end result is usually one of us hanging up on the other.  Now mind you we have been in and out of marriage counseling for years but never really got anywhere.

So, the reason for this post is to get some feedback from my readers on some tips to fix this communication problem that we have (as well as other readers).  Any suggestions, websites you can refer me to, or things that have worked for you, please feel free to reply to this post.  Share your stories!  I will post your replies and would be greatful for any advice you and your fellow readers could give to all of us!

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2 thoughts on “Communication with ex-spouses, ex-boyfriends, or ex-lovers….

  1. You are absolutly correct i remember spending.hours on the phone and even writting.letters but.as the years have gone by the communication has started to slow down and even stop sometimes. there are times we have dinner w/o kids and cant think of a thing to talk about. dont know why. hope it gets better

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